morh man calmingDo you find yourself saying ‘yes’ when deep down you wished you had the courage to say ‘no’? I think sometimes we can have a tendency to want to please everyone and keep the peace… but we compromise ourselves in the process.

Would you agree?

How many times have you been so busy you barely have time for yourself, then someone comes along wanting ‘a small favour’ and because you’re kind and nice, you agree to help? If you’re anything like most people I’m sure it’s too many times… am I right?

So today, my invitation to you is to stop trying to please everyone else and begin putting yourself first. I urge you to learn to find the strength inside to say no when you need to… and to stop feeling guilty when you do.

Understand you have a choice

You have the right to say no but what happens is that you choose to relinquish those rights to other people. It is your own beliefs that make you feel that saying no is a very bad thing and will make the other person think badly of you.
Choose to accept responsibility for your feelings and

grant your self permission to say no when you need to.

Wide Slow RiverStay in flow

Remind yourself of your ultimate lifestyle goals that you set for yourself and the commitment you made to make sure every action you take this year will be in flow with your life purpose. Every time you agree to a request that is not in flow with your goals, you take yourself one step away from your ultimate lifestyle.

Don’t over explain your refusal

When I have to decline a request for help, I prefer to keep my response brief… going into great lengthy explanations isn’t necessary. Simply state that you are sorry you have to decline and share your primary reason for doing so. Perhaps end the response with a couple of alternative options they may like to consider instead?

Stop SignIf you delay responding to email requests because you don’t know what to say or feel nervous at the implications of your saying no, then I urge you to sit down today, compose those replies and send them.

If you receive a verbal request and feel uncomfortable about declining immediately, ask for time to think the request over… but don’t then put off responding or put too much energy into worrying about having to refuse. The reality of saying no is far less painful that your inner torment.

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Dr Joanna Martin

Dr Joanna Martin is an internationally acclaimed speaker and sought-after educator who has taught over 40,000 people on three continents. She is also the author of the new book “The Lifestyle Shift”.

Today, she trains entrepreneurs and professionals alike in key communication, leadership, and presentation skills. With her partner Greg, through their business, Shift Lifestyle they provide strategy and support for business owners who want a lifestyle, not just a living.

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