I’m at the Isle of Wight with my team this week, and it becomes clear when we all get together in the same room that we are a very female dominant team. Poor old Greg (or lucky old Greg- depending on how you look at it) is surrounded by 5 women at this little holiday house.
Over a lovely refreshing Pimms, we were reviewing how the event we ran last weekend went, and looking for areas to improve it. And as we did our wrap meeting it became clear that while there were a few very detailed little system changes to be made, the majority of the improvements were energetic in nature.
This discovery captured our attention. When an event, or indeed any business endeavour has been well systemised, the only room for improvement is the human element of the delivery of that system.
So our conversation turned to how do we show up even better to our work? How do we arrive ready to deliver world class performances every day? And is that actually even possible?
Which brings me to a challenge that we stumbled upon which is perhaps uniquely feminine. Our hormones!
How do we do business at That Time of the Month?
Ladies- correct me if I’m wrong here, but there are days in the month we are stellar… capable of extraordinary feats and delivering at exceptionally high levels. We’re in flow, life is falling at our feet and business is a breeze. And then there are other times we feel we could curl up in the corner and hide from the world.
As the 5 of us girls were chatting about this, we realised, that while none of us would ever admit to it in public (for fear “The Men” and “Very Capable Women” out there would shun us for our weakness)… the truth is, when we get our period we want to introvert, pull away from the world, and frankly more often than not our body PHYSICALLY stops us performing at the high levels we expect from ourselves. There were tales of back pain, tummy pain, migraines, tears and being curled up at the bottom of the shower with the warm water running over the painful area in attempt to regain some element of comfort.
Perhaps our bodies are trying to tell us something? All 5 of us agreed, if we really listened to ourselves, our bodies wanted us to slow down and introvert at that time of the month.
The Female Brain, by Dr Louann Brizendine
Indeed, says Dr Brizendine, women who have committed crimes while suffering from extreme PMS (called pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) have successfully used it as a defence in both France and England by establishing temporary insanity!
As the 5 of us gals were discussing all this the other day- it struck us as remarkable that we ever got anything done!
Now I don’t know about you, but I have a crazy belief that everything is divinely perfect. And if this were the case, then surely this hormonally driven jumpiness, tiredness and all round feeling out of sorts could be a message to us.
In Traditional Communities…
In traditional communities women would retreat to the “Red Tent” or the “Moon Lodge” at this time. In some communities, a woman’s bleeding was considered a cosmic event, relating and connecting her to the moon, the lunar cycles and the tides. She was thought to be at the height of her power at this time, and for this reason was encouraged to spend time listening to her inner voice which would often offer suggestions and wisdom which would benefit the whole tribe.
In Modern Life…
I wonder where in the massive busy-ness of life: rearing children, running businesses, keeping fit, building wealth, making our difference… have we lost this deep connection to our feminine selves? And what impact does it have on our “tribe”?
Perhaps in our drive as women to deliver “world class performances” every day, and to be considered equal with men, we have lost our connection to what makes us unique and different. Perhaps once a month we have the perfect opportunity to reflect on our raison d’être and the direction we are heading… without having to do all the busy-ness of getting there.
Just a thought… and I’d be interested in yours! Leave me a comment below!
* Brizendine, Dr Louann; The Female Brain, Transworld Publishers, 2006.
Yay! I feel like I can come right on out and admit this now you’ve said it!! Lol! I’m so grateful I’m not the only one that thinks this is the case! I often want to retreat into my own little world (pj’s, duvet and girly flicks) once a month. I find myself taking my drum or native American flute to the cliffs and playing at the time of the month quite often too! I need to be near the sea. A definite signal comes from inside to ‘come back inside’ for a while… And it’s important I listen! I powered through last month and ended up with tendinitis and all sorts of physical symptoms I’ve never had before!! Hmmm!! Thanks for this very timely message Jo… I’m off to sit on a cliff with a drum and a bar of chocolate!! 🙂
I know what you mean Michelle. Have to say writing this article was a big risk for me. Wasnt sure how it would be receieved – but sounds like I’ve hit a chord! One of those things we all think about, maybe talk to our sisters about, but otherwise keep it hidden up in case anyone dismisses us, as Bo was saying, as being irrational or unprofessional. But I think there’s a real shift hapening globally, and women are at the centre. And we have to be real about what’s so. Highly recommend “The Female Brain” (I’m now onto “The Male Brain”
Enjoy Michelle! 🙂
Great article! I totally agree and I think it is best if at all possible to track your cycle on a calendar and to make sure that the first day of your period is kept as quiet as possible. I’ve tried to do this since speaking to a friend of mine who attends regular talks and workshops on the menstrual cycle and I’ve found it increases my energy and decreases stress levels significantly. Women should allow themselves to be women, feminism and equality for women in business doesn’t mean trying to be a man!
Hi Emily,
Great suggestions. Thats what I’ve taken on for myself I have to admit!
Jo
Thank you so much for sharing this Emily. I think the ladies in my team would love the idea of keeping day one of your period as low key as possible… and I completely agree – we should absolutely embrace our femininity. Now… where’s my calendar? 🙂
Thanks for raising this important issue.
Unfortunately, modern life doesn’t make it easy to ‘opt out’ when you’re feeling premenstrual.
The pressure to always be on top of your game – efficient, hard working, groomed and organised – is immense, especially for women with families. There are also many settings where admitting to feeling below par and more susceptible to stress at certain times of the month can lead to women being dismissed as unprofessional, unreliable and irrational all of the time. It’s a fine line, but a really important subject to debate and discuss.
I blog about PMS and how to prevent and manage it naturally through self-care, vegan nutrition and exercise at http://www.pmswarrior.com.
Hey Bo
Its so true. I think most of us even bottle it up and pretend its not happening because we dont want to be seen to be irrational or unreliable. But I know for some women they ARE irrational (I count myself in that on occasion too!)- so we shouldnt be making big decisions!! Maybe its better out than in?
What do you think?
Jo
Thanks for your comment Bo. There is a lot of pressure on us to be on top of our game (all month round) but it really does seem like our bodies are trying to tell us something here doesn’t it? I’ll nip over and check out your blog too! Thanks for sharing it.
How timely this article is and how much is resonates with something I have been thinking about for a while now! For 2-3 days per month I just can’t ‘perform’ at the same levels as the rest of the time. I literally feel as if I’m treading through treacle. BUT this month something amazing happened whilst in my tired phase. One afternoon when supposed to be ‘working’ and in the middle of my period feeling totally draining I was sitting at my computer and instead of my usual focus and ‘production’ I just browsed. I saw some posts from Michelle Holmes squeaking about her recent speaker training – I wandered over to your shift speaker trianing website, sat and watched all the tutorials on making a fantastic speech in order to sell products, wrote a killer speech for a chocolate roadshow I’m putting on in the Autumn and came up with some new killer packages for my business. All while too tired to ‘work’! It was as if I just had to relax and go with the flow instead of being all task driven and this allowed me to open up to all of this! How wonderful – so even though the feeling of being so tired and unable to ‘do’ my normal stuff happens every month – it will now prove to me that ‘going with the flow’ might lead to other things entirely! Listen to our bodies and just see where they might take you!
Hey Dawn
My coach Shivaya tells me its the most creative time of the month. Looks like thats what you discovered huh?!
Go with the flow baby!
Johttp://www.joannamartin.tv/wp-admin/edit-comments.php?p=658&approved=1#comments-form
Dawn thank you so much for sharing this! I’m so glad you came across Michelle’s posts and found your way to Shift! Sometimes when we slow right down amazing things happen. Make sure you let me know how the presentation goes in the Autumn please! Wonderful use of ‘down time’!
This article is so relevant and something I discovered many years ago. In this male driven society, women seem to want to work at the same pace and drive that men do. Unfortunately our bodies were never designed to do this. It is one of the reasons that women are so stressed today. This stress on our bodies leads to many health issues including “hormonal imbalances”, which contribute to a whole range of symptoms. PMS is one these and based on my research over 75% of women suffer from this on a regular basis.
As part of my own journey to heal my health challenges, I discovered many natural things that women can do to get their hormones back in balance and overcome these monthly symptoms and challenges. These are contained in my book, “From Hormone Hell to Hormone Heaven: A practical guide for women to restore health and harmony naturally”.
I wrote the book to help women heal themselves of PMS and other symptoms related to having their “hormones out of balance”. It is holistic and contains practical steps for both the body and the mind, with strategies to help deal with the stress that women face on a regular basis.
More information is available at: http://www.HormoneHelltoHormoneHeaven.com
Great subject for discussion Joey!
I’m 6 months pregnant, with our first child, and can I say I have never experienced the impact of my hormones more on my work and my life than of recent months. I found myself having to apologise and come clean about it a few times with my husband or work colleagues for biting their heads off, or reacting prematurely without letting them get a word in. I was embarrassed about my behaviour but coming clean with them resulted in them having some empathy for me and my lack of control at this time.
I have largely retreated from my normal social butterfly, networking activities and am much more introverted than normal, which gives me more down time and more energy. I would also say I’ve found ways to have my company Integrity Cosmetics produce even better results with less of my time and energy. I think this is partly due to the priority I have placed on my energy and the “me time” I now demand for me and our soon to be born baby.
Thanks for bringing up this important topic for female entrepreneurs and working women.
Hey Tracey
Great to hear how things are going for you- and that you’re growing despite the pregnancy. My sister found exactly the same thing. As soon as Bam Bam was on the horizon she started stripping back everything that wasn’t essential to her business growth.
Hope the delivery goes well- I was just at my sister Kath’s home birth and it was the most special day of my life… and it wasnt even me having the baby!
Best wishes!
Jo
I am an older lady I have always had a business but when I started not as many women were in business and certainly not as successful as know. But what I quickly learnt I didn’t have to be a man to succeed but I had to deal with the differences in my own way I learnt to accept when I was feeling less dynamic and do what I needed to do to deal with that. I worked my diary around it because it was my business maybe it was easier for me. But I am not sure we can ask for equality and then keep asking for understanding of our PMT. I think it is a problem if a problem is the right word we need to understand ourselves and use it to our advantage time for us, maybe thats what ‘me time’ really is.
Hi Jean,
I agree… we dont want to be asking for permission to be less than extraordinary- we just need to be aware that sometimes we are… and structure our lives accordingly. Sounds like you’ve done this superbly- and we could learn from your experience.
Jo
Hi Joey
What a great article and comments. I do notice that before I’m due my thinking begins to change. I go from being quite capable to questioning almost everything. Even the simplest of tasks becomes a mountain, like getting dressed. You should see my clothes scattered all over the place, because nothing looks right!
I am inspired by reading the comments, it’s that feeling of not being alone, knowing that other’s experience similar things. I especially like the idea that it is a time to allow creativity to flow.
If we think about it an incredible thing is happening inside of us, we are creating the potential to make a new life, wow! that’s big stuff. It makes sense that this could be a time for introversion and introspection.
I wrote an article (but haven’t published it yet) about how my relationship with my husband changes two weeks before my period. I would go from being all lovey dovey to glaring at him for asking the simplest of questions, the worst thing was, he was the brunt of all my anger and frustration. I can happily state that this complete 180 doesn’t occur anymore. I haven’t taken anything for it, I believe it’s because I became aware of what was happening and used this knowledge to make changes.
It was great spending time with you and team, I eventually recovered from crewing and spent the rest of the week wondering how you all do it! Give my love to all and you take care.
With love
Sharon
Dear Ladies,
I agree and can relate to all of your comments.
My attitude about my menstral cycles changed all of a sudden one day when, years ago, I was reading a book by Gloria Steinem, the big femminist of the 70’s. Speaking about menstruation and all the negative mood swings that are connected with it, she stated When women go through their menstral cycle, that is the one time during the month that women’s hormones are closest to that of a man. Well, that statement stopped me dead in my tracks and I realized that many men go on everyday like they are in their menstral cycle 🙂 No reason for us to stay home ladies and no apologies for our mood swings 🙂
Some more good news – I am now in menopause and have never felt better, been sharper, more creative, more loving and emotionally tuned into myself to make the best decisions. My energy level has never been better and I feel sexier now. (I do take care of myself and stay away from all animal products). The sporadic hot flashes are welcome since I drink more water and my skin looks better. I am not the only one. I know other women who feel the same way that I do. Most doctors are not going to tell you this little secret though since it is not written anywhere in their pharmaceutal driven text books. Love your hormones and they will love you!
Wow Joey, great article and such relevant points you are making. The more I explore ‘the new ways to BE in life, love and business’ with Seth, the more I’m seeing these types of things changing and women standing up and into their intuition which has always been telling them to ‘go within’ and when they ‘go without’ they end of with stress symptoms or strange accidents or reasons to slow down. I woke this morning with the lyrics ‘we’re at the dawning of the age of Aquarius’ running around my head and now I’m humming ‘the times they are a-changing’. Love your work x
Anne Aleckson with Seth
Hi Joanna,
reading your blog made me realize even more that it is time for women to become themselves!
What you are saying is at the core of my work with women and is what I develop in my workshops Flying Solo I where I share my knowledge of the cycle with women to open them up to a new awareness about themselves.
The menstrual cycle is Nature’s gift to women for personal development, it affects them emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually.
There is so much more to it than just few days of bleeding or mood swings!
If you want to know more browse my website, come to one of my Flying Solo I workshops or read the testimonials of other women who came to it.
I have done lots of courses and training about personal development but this knowledge changed my life radically, why?
Because being a woman, you are run by the cycle and if you don’t understand it and appreciate it, you won’t be able to put all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together.
Please read the article Period Power by Katy Evans, the editor of Soul & Spirit magazine who wrote the article after being to Flying Solo I in Glastonbury in February.
I am looking forward to reading from you soon.
Love and hugs from The Flying Witch
alias Gabriella for mortals …
Wonderful! Glad you realise all these tribulation are there for a purpose. For years I have been telling women taking hormones to have a break every month from them as nature gives us a break from our hormones monthly while we are young. The lack of drive at that time reflects the reduced fertility of those days, as the oestrogens and progesterone fall down prior to shedding the lining of the womb to start another cycle. Time to reflect? Yes but the best thing anyone can do for themselves is to reflect on each day for a few minutes, preferably as a meditation, so that you can hear the still small voice, but even over a glass of wine with a loved one will do!
Judging by the number of comments this piece has provoked, looks like you’ve hit a nerve, Joanna!
Seems that we’re all pretty much agreed that we’re not machines who function on a constant setting (d’uh!), and that the monthly menstrual cycle means highs and lows. (And there i compensating highs too: anyone else get a surge of energy straight after their period?)
So, ladies, what are we going to do about it? How do we reclaim our natural rhythms in the world we live in?
I’m conscious of the fact that women in freelance jobs have more freedom to arrange their diaries and commitments than women working in corporate environments, or schools …. difficult to ever take your foot off the pedal if you’re a teacher for example. Thoughts?