I’m sitting in Starbucks this morning on a rainy day in London reflecting on a conversation I had with one of my clients just before Greg and I left Melbourne last week.
She was telling me that she had spent the previous week dwelling on a difficult conversation she knew she needed to have with one of her clients. It was a conversation that she felt would be emotional and difficult for both of them.
Focusing on negative outcomes
She’d spent some time preparing to manage the negative outcome she expected from the conversation;
- Writing herself a script for how she would deliver the news
- Role playing the conversation in her mind
- Figuring out how to manage the anticipated conflict
- And generally psyching herself up to make that call
Until she realised that she was focusing all her energies into an expected outcome but avoiding taking any steps towards an actual result!
If you are familiar with the Law of Attraction you’ll know that it states we attract what we expect and by focusing on a negative outcome, you are likely to attract a negative outcome.
She made a decision: instead of expecting the call to go badly, she began to imagine the conversation going well and ending positively. Then she picked up the phone and made that call.
And guess what? The call DID go well and there WAS a positive outcome!
It got me thinking… how many times do we put off doing something because we fear a negative outcome? If we’re honest we’ve all done it at some point… I know I have and I expect you have too?
Now think about situations you’ve gone into with positive expectations… did your positive thinking manifest into a great outcome?
You see, when you look back at times where you have put off a task, decision or conversation because of your inner fears for a bad outcome… doesn’t it feel like a lot of wasted time? The truth is, you are limiting your success when you spend time focusing on what you think might happen instead of getting it done and managing the actual outcome.
I’m not saying you should never prepare for worst case scenarios but don’t let yourself put off doing something to focus on negative outcomes. Take that next step in your lifestyle journey with positive expectations and you’ll discover you can manifest those beliefs into positive outcomes.
Can you relate to this? Leave me a comment and tell me about a time you feared an outcome or when you manifested a positive outcome from positive expectations?
If you have to have fear and worry, and we all do from time to time, the time for fear and worry is before you make your decision to act.
Fear and worry are the allies of procrastination and the fears and worries often are the excuses used for not making a decision.
I believe the real reason is that we don’t feel we have enough information to make the decision. Fear and worry amplify this lack of confidence.
In truth you will never have all the information so it’s best to make a decision and either go for the ride or choose another path.
Once you have decided on a course to take you have to work to achieve the best possible outcome with the resources you have at the time.
Preparation and looking for the best outcome is essential to the process and in my experience reality is usually no where near as bad an outcome as my imagination can generate.
Focusing on the best possible result will build confidence going into the situation you have been avoiding or expecting to be unpleasant.
Fantastic advice Chris. It is a concern about lack of information isn’t it. You just have to commit eventually!
We tend to achieve on that which we focus. I remember when I was first learning to ski and was gently going down the slope. On a very wide run I saw a pole in my path and said to myself “Don’t hit the pole, don’t hit the pole” You guessed it. Went around both sides of said object at the same time and such an embrace nearly changed my voice.
Ouch Gerald! Sounds like a painful lesson there. But at least you have a reminder to focus on what you want. Its the same thing on my scooter. I have to consistently remind myself not to focus on the potholes, but on the smooth road between- because the bike goes where you focus!
That is so true you can create big barriers that you need to overcome. At the moment I am focussed on something rather positive. Counting down the days till Presentation Secrets on the 12th!
And I look forward to seeing you there Lianne-carla!! It should be a great day.